Midlife Marriage Crisis: Why it Happens and How Therapy Can Help
Even the most solid bonds can buckle under the weight of career and family demands, even if the bond has already been tempered by the forces of life.
If you find yourself 15 or 20 years into your relationship feeling stuck or overwhelmed, you’re not alone. Midlife marriage crisis is a common phenomenon.
After all, you also change as a person as you age. What worked for you as a couple before won’t necessarily have the same effect in the present.
For women especially, these crises often coincide with the perimenopausal phase, which puts them through severe physical and emotional episodes that change them as a person, as well as their relationships.
In this blog, we’ll explore the reasons behind these marriage problems and how marriage and couples counseling can help you navigate them properly.
Reasons Behind Midlife Marriage Crisis
- Growing Apart
The average age of marriage in India has lingered in the mid-twenties for many decades now. Couples in their late 40s or early 50s have probably been married for 20 years.
Ideally, during this time, you and your partner grew together. Sadly, that isn’t always the case. Couples tend to grow apart due to differences and lack of communication—initial cracks that widen into chasms by the time midlife hits.
In these scenarios, marriage and couples counseling can help fill the gap, providing a purposeful space for partners to communicate with each other.
- Midlife Marriage Struggles and Stress of Career
40s is the age when you hit the height of your career. It’s a really exciting time. But it also has the tendency to steer your attention and energy away from your marriage.
Moreover, if the speed of growth for one partner outpaces the other’s, it can lead to feelings of envy and resentment.
It’s also a period where a lot of women who took a career break to take care of their children reenter the workforce, thereby shaking up the dynamics that have been set for a long time, leading to marriage struggles.
- Perimenopause Changes and Your Marriage
Perimenopause is a decade-long stretch leading up to menopause. Some women can get it as early as their late 30s. However, for most women, the phase starts in their 40s.
Anxiety and depression are common during this period and can have a negative effect on your relationships – especially marriage. It may lead to loss of interest, low libido, and many other byproducts of anxiety and depression induced by perimenopause.
Also, women feel much less capable during these years, which may affect family roles, especially if you do everything at home.
- Sandwich-ed Generation
Today, people in their 40s and 50s are sandwiched between two generations–caring for their aging parents while still raising children.
Even there, women are doing the lion’s share of work. At the end of the day, this can leave very little time and energy for your partner, resulting in a lack of quality time and more marriage struggles.
The stressful workloads can also result in resentment for the caregiver. Similarly, it can lead to feelings of abandonment for the other partner.
Even if these emotions are not apparent, partners are left with very little time to give to the marriage.
Also Read: Everything You Need To Know About Marriage and Couples Counselling
What You Can Do For A Midlife Marriage Crisis
Like we mentioned above, marriage and couples counseling can do wonders for your relationship. There are many established techniques that qualified, well-trained marriage counselors employ to bridge the gap between partners and renew the spark in the relationship.
Before you dive into therapy, you need to have an honest conversation with your partner. It’s important to have a conversation from a place of kindness and compassion.
The goal is to share how you are feeling, and not ridicule your spouse. Establish conversations as a desire to enjoy and reconnect with each other more. Listen wholeheartedly to what they are experiencing.
Once you understand their perspective, you can move forward. The best thing is to think of it as a task that you have to tackle and complete together.
Need Help?
Midlife marriage crises are common. The pressures of work and family combined with the physical and emotional changes of perimenopause can strain the toughest of bonds.
You are certainly not alone.
From marriage and couples counseling for struggling couples to individual therapy for women, we at Faculty Minds – one of the best marriage counselor in Mumbai – can help you navigate through rough patches of your relationship, reconcile differences, and renew the love in your marriage.
Take the first step to repairing your marriage. Get in touch today!
