Ghosting in Relationship: Why it Happens and Effective Ways to Cope
You are in a new, exciting relationship. Dates are going great, you are having lovely conversations, and everything seems right on track.
The next thing you know, the other person is gone. Vanished. Your calls go unanswered, your messages are undelivered, and you might even be blocked. And all you are left with is questions, confusion, and a social vacuum.
Ghosting in relationships has become increasingly commonplace in today’s dating culture. It could happen at the beginning of a romantic relationship or in the middle of one.
If your relationship was based on online liaisons, the feelings of frustration are compounded due to how easily the person ignores your communication efforts and how simply their unresponsiveness goes unabated.
The bottom line: Being on the receiving end of your partner suddenly calling quits on you can have an adverse effect on your mental health.
In this blog, we will explore the reasons behind ghosting and effective methods to cope with it.
Ghosting in Relationship – Why It Happens?
Psychologists in India and relationship experts worldwide agree that people ghost to avoid uncomfortable situations and confrontations. Although this evasion is perceived as callousness and lack of regard, it is often related to the other person’s inability to handle their own distress and to clearly communicate that.
Moreover, ghosting in relationships also occurs because the ghoster wants to spare the feelings of the other person. Many ghostsers have admitted that they do not want to hurt other people or that they don’t know what to do in a given situation. Or, they are simply scared.
It has become a common perception among ghosters that ghosting is the easiest way to exit a relationship and is a justifiable way overall.
But it’s not. Ghosting is a passive withdrawal method that leaves the other person in a state of frustration and confusion.
Also Read: How To Heal From Toxic Relationship
How to Cope with Ghosting in Relationships
When you are on the receiving end of ghosting, you are left feeling wounded and angry at the apparent rejection. The pain is directly proportional to how much you knew the person, for how long, and what you have shared with them.
The lack of explanation can also trigger a damaging inner dialogue that leaves you wondering what you did wrong. If you have had wounds from past rejections, you may find fault in this abandonment in yourself.
You are not the problem. Unless you have done anything that warranted such a reaction from the ghoster, they are at fault, not you.
Here is what you can do to move forward:
- Absolve Yourself of the Blame
It is not difficult to feel embarrassment, shame, and regret when someone disappears. After all, you put in all your efforts, feelings, and time and it backfired. It is easy to take it personally. But it’s about them, not you.
It is easy to blame yourself because you do not know the cause and there is no explanation. You become too guarded so you don’t hurt yourself again.
But now is the time to regroup, take a break, and be kind to yourself. You are not to blame when someone walks away without a word. Nor is it your fault that the other person isn’t mature enough to tell you the truth.
- Take up Self-Care
Focus on your well-being. When you are navigating an emotional reaction as strong as guilt, anger, or sadness, you are more susceptible to succumbing to self-soothing, addictive behaviours and unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Ensure, above all else, that you are getting enough sleep and physical exercise and that you are maintaining a healthy diet.
After the other person leaves, the chunk of time you dedicate to spending with them, be it in person or digital, is freed up. Invest that time in your friends and family who support you. Indulge in activities that make you happy, like doing meditation, yoga, or returning to an old hobby.
- Nix the Shame
If you have been rejected before, ghosting in a relationship can open up old wounds that bring forth the feeling of shame.
Well, should ghosting even be considered a rejection? It carries the echoes of old rejection but is necessarily one.
It hurts like because it emulates and activates the previous betrayal or hurt by someone we trusted.
Again, it is not your cross to bear. Being dropped and feeling unseen is painful, but there should be no shame in feeling what is real.
If it is difficult to reconcile with your feelings, you can opt for individual or couple counselling in Mumbai to cope with your feelings better. Our experienced counsellors can help you make sense of your feelings and also help you get rid of any unwanted emotional residues of ghosting.
Parting Thoughts
Exhibiting negative emotions and constantly questioning yourself are common when you’re ghosted. The best way out is to not play the shame and blame game. Live with your head held high, maintain your dignity, and let the other person go. There could be someone better out there looking for you.
Of course, it will take time. Build your resilience through self-care during the painful period. Seeing a mental health professional can also help during this time to help you cope up and stay functional.
Get in touch with us at Faculty Minds to start the healing journey the right way.
